Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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