can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
