Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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