Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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