the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
