I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
