i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
