So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
