I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
