dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
