mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
