she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
