i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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