are you still at the devil's house?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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