I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
