is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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