just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
