fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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