just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think people are normalizing furries
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
