the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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