have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Semen is not good for contacts.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
