So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
