So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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