The maid of honor just puked.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
