i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
