You work out of a Hotel?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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