i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
