I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
