Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize