Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
