we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
