This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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