Dual....:-)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I am spending my child support on dildos
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
