i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
