i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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