remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
