When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize