Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
