I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
