Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
