my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
