We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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