I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
