I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
