Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
