DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
