none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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