his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
