I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
