Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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