Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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