If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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