Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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