Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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