he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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