you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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