Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
