I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
did i walk over a car last night?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
