Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
