id be glad to
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize