Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
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